Compliments And The Impact They Have

Okay, so I know this is my third blog on birthdays but I really got some great thinking as a I pondered birthdays with my children. By the way, don’t be afraid to do as I have done in these blogs- milk your thoughts about one subject until you are able to fully come around to a new understanding. It is in dissecting all of your thoughts and angles that you are often able to come up with your best new insights.

When my eight year old woke up for her birthday her number one thing she was excited about was that she was going to hear what every one loved about her at dinner time.

Three years ago we started doing a new family ritual for birthdays. On your birthday dinner each person would share one thing they love about you and one thing they love to do with you. My thought was that at least once a year they would reinforce the good about each other and build a stronger love to last their life time. I also thought that as they hit those tough older years they would at least have one day a year where their sibling told them what was wonderful about them to offset all the days they bicker with each other.

What I didn’t count on was how much the kids would latch on to this ritual. They love to hear what everyone loves about them.

But it is also a greater lesson. It is a lesson in how to sit through compliments and absorb them WITHOUT offering a compliment in return. That is tough to do. Think about the last time someone complimented you. If you are like most people, rather than just saying thank you, you gave them a compliment back. It is hard to learn to feel in your head and heart that your acceptance of a compliment is not egotistical nor does it distract from the other person in any way.

TAKE ACTION: Start passing out compliments more freely, when you get complimented practice just saying, “Thanks,” and if you have children, start a family ritual that has each person once a year share what they love about each other. You will be amazed at how much mileage you will get out of it - especially if the person is the only receiver of the compliments that night.

Anne Warfield www.impressionmanagement.com