Okay, so I know this is my third blog on birthdays but I really got some great thinking as a I pondered birthdays with my children. By the way, don’t be afraid to do as I have done in these blogs- milk your thoughts about one subject until you are able to fully come around to a new understanding. It is in dissecting all of your thoughts and angles that you are often able to come up with your best new insights.
When my eight year old woke up for her birthday her number one thing she was excited about was that she was going to hear what every one loved about her at dinner time.
Three years ago we started doing a new family ritual for birthdays. On your birthday dinner each person would share one thing they love about you and one thing they love to do with you. My thought was that at least once a year they would reinforce the good about each other and build a stronger love to last their life time. I also thought that as they hit those tough older years they would at least have one day a year where their sibling told them what was wonderful about them to offset all the days they bicker with each other.
What I didn’t count on was how much the kids would latch on to this ritual. They love to hear what everyone loves about them.
But it is also a greater lesson. It is a lesson in how to sit through compliments and absorb them WITHOUT offering a compliment in return. That is tough to do. Think about the last time someone complimented you. If you are like most people, rather than just saying thank you, you gave them a compliment back. It is hard to learn to feel in your head and heart that your acceptance of a compliment is not egotistical nor does it distract from the other person in any way.
TAKE ACTION: Start passing out compliments more freely, when you get complimented practice just saying, “Thanks,” and if you have children, start a family ritual that has each person once a year share what they love about each other. You will be amazed at how much mileage you will get out of it - especially if the person is the only receiver of the compliments that night.
Anne Warfield www.impressionmanagement.com
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
What is Your Outlook?
The other night at Ce’Anna’s birthday we asked the kids why they loved birthdays. Their answers included, “Because it is all about me!, I get presents, I hear all the good things about me (more in the next blog about that), I am getting closer to being able to do more things, I get to have a party with my friends” and the list went on.
Then we asked what they thought most adults thought about their own birthday. They said, “ugh, I’m getting older, they hate them, they look older when they look in the mirror and they don’t like it.” Hmm, pretty perceptive.
So we started to talk about how and why kids and adult view their birthdays differently and it hit me—At some point in time we stop looking at our birthdays as an opening to more opportunities in our life and instead look at it as a closing of opportunities. Why?
Why can’t we still do the things we want? Why do we put self-imposed limits on ourselves? A birthday should be a celebration of all that you have done in your life. I remember for my 30th birthday I wrote a letter to each of the women in my group about how they made a difference in my life. It was one of my best birthdays and it was about giving rather than receiving.
My grandfather is in his 90’s. His goal is to live to 118. He looks at each birthday as one year closer to his goal so he celebrates with gusto. He winks and says, “I’m going to be the oldest living guy.--won’t see a damn thing with these cataracts but I will still have my scotch!” He doesn’t let poor eye sight stop him and he still lives alone!
Live your life to the fullest.
Each birthday should be one that you look at as an opportunity to open more gates and do more of what you want. Even if it is changing your routine around that can make a huge difference. If you don’t want to look back on this past year and say, “what a wasted year, I didn’t accomplish anything,” change it now.
TAKE ACTION: look at what habits you have that you would like to change or habits you would like to develop and change your behavior to make those manifest in this next year.
Anne Warfield www.impressionmanagement.com
Then we asked what they thought most adults thought about their own birthday. They said, “ugh, I’m getting older, they hate them, they look older when they look in the mirror and they don’t like it.” Hmm, pretty perceptive.
So we started to talk about how and why kids and adult view their birthdays differently and it hit me—At some point in time we stop looking at our birthdays as an opening to more opportunities in our life and instead look at it as a closing of opportunities. Why?
Why can’t we still do the things we want? Why do we put self-imposed limits on ourselves? A birthday should be a celebration of all that you have done in your life. I remember for my 30th birthday I wrote a letter to each of the women in my group about how they made a difference in my life. It was one of my best birthdays and it was about giving rather than receiving.
My grandfather is in his 90’s. His goal is to live to 118. He looks at each birthday as one year closer to his goal so he celebrates with gusto. He winks and says, “I’m going to be the oldest living guy.--won’t see a damn thing with these cataracts but I will still have my scotch!” He doesn’t let poor eye sight stop him and he still lives alone!
Live your life to the fullest.
Each birthday should be one that you look at as an opportunity to open more gates and do more of what you want. Even if it is changing your routine around that can make a huge difference. If you don’t want to look back on this past year and say, “what a wasted year, I didn’t accomplish anything,” change it now.
TAKE ACTION: look at what habits you have that you would like to change or habits you would like to develop and change your behavior to make those manifest in this next year.
Anne Warfield www.impressionmanagement.com
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